"Disappointment" 2-18-24

Overview

Disappointment: When Our Expectations Collide With Reality

Disappointment happens when what we expected does not match what actually is. We can feel it toward circumstances, toward people, and—if we are honest—toward God. Scripture does not shy away from this. Martha and Mary both met Jesus with the same aching words: "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died" (John 11:21; John 11:32). David cried, "How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?" Psalm 13:1, and again, "Why have you forgotten me?" Psalm 42:9. Even Israel in the wilderness grumbled against the manna God provided Numbers 11:4-6. The faithful have always brought their disappointments to God.

Sometimes our disappointment grows from what theologians call an over-realized eschatology—the mistaken belief that what God has promised for heaven (no death, no mourning, no pain — Revelation 21:4) is fully ours on this side of glory. It isn't. When teachers insist that every illness must be healed now, or that suffering reveals a lack of faith, expectation crashes into reality and bitterness follows. Disappointment also runs the other way: God Himself grieves when His people refuse Him. Jesus wept over Jerusalem Matthew 23:37, and Paul warns us not to grieve the Holy Spirit Ephesians 4:30. Yet what does God do with His disappointment over our sin? He sends His Son to bear it, clothing us in Christ's righteousness through the cross and empty tomb.

The Lazarus story gives us a striking clue. Jesus deliberately delayed, allowing Lazarus to die, "for God's glory, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it" John 11:4. The detail that Lazarus had been in the tomb four days John 11:17 removed any doubt: this would be no mere resuscitation but a true miracle. To Martha's grief Jesus answered, "I am the resurrection and the life" John 11:25-26. Could it be that the disappointments God permits in your life are appointed for the same purpose—to display His glory and deepen your trust?

Paul learned this when he begged three times for his thorn to be removed and heard instead, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" 2 Corinthians 12:9. True strength is found not in self-sufficiency but in leaning on the omnipotent God. And Paul assures us, "We know that all things work together for good, for those who love God and are called according to his purpose" Romans 8:28. If disappointment lingers and the good has not yet appeared, it may be that God has not yet finished redeeming it. He is the resurrection and the life. He is still in charge—even of this. Trust Him.

Transcript

Open your Bibles, please, with me to the Gospel of John 11th chapter. 3s

If you're using a Pew edition of Holy Scripture, you'll find in front of you or underneath 8s

you, the 11th chapter of the Gospel of John is on page 91 in the New Testament, page 91. 12s

We begin today a new sermon series that's going to extend for the next two months. 20s

And I've entitled it resemblance. 26s

After the next two months, week after week, we're going to take a look at various 28s

linten and holy week and Easter stories. 33s

And we're going to see in these stories of the people that are involved 38s

resemblance, we're going to see ourselves in the story. 43s

So may God richly bless the proclamation of His Word and His series resemblance. 48s

There are some words that are truly wonderful, beautiful words, love, joy, peace, good words. 56s

But then there are other words that are at as good. 72s

For example, the word disappointment, disappointment. 75s

Disappointment occurs when our expectations don't match up with reality. 82s

And what results then is disappointment. 91s

We can be disappointed with things, disappointed with events, disappointed with people, 97s

on and on the list goes when our expectations and reality, they don't match and the result then is disappointment. 101s

Here's my question this morning. 115s

Have you ever been or are you disappointed with God? 120s

Have you ever been or are you disappointed with God? 129s

Best guess is it's probably two to four weeks prior to the cross, the story that's recorded in John the 11th chapter. 141s

And to get a running start of this, let's look at the first verse, please, and following of chapter 11. 152s

The scripture says, 159s

Now a certain man was ill, Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary, and her sister Martha, 160s

Mary was the one who had noointed the Lord with perfume and wiped his feet with her hair. 167s

Her brother Lazarus was ill. 173s

So the sister sent a message to Jesus, Lord, he whom you love is ill. 176s

Mary and Martha and Lazarus were siblings and they lived in Bethany. 186s

As we see in scripture where Jesus is ministering at this point, it would have taken a good day, a good day's journey, 191s

to get the message to Jesus. 200s

We go on in verse 5. 204s

Accordingly, though Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus, after having heard that Lazarus was ill, 209s

he stayed two days longer in the place where he was. 217s

Let's go out of verse 17. 224s

When Jesus arrived, he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb four days. 227s

Now Bethany was near Jerusalem some two miles away. 234s

And many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to console them about their brother. 238s

You see that detail there that says that Lazarus had been in the tomb four days, that's really important. 244s

The rabbis of ancient day had a teaching. 251s

Didn't have any scriptural foundation to it, but they taught it nonetheless. 255s

And they said that when a person dies, their spirit hovers over the body for three days. 259s

And if somehow the person is resuscitated, then the spirit can re-enter into the body. 267s

Again, is there any scriptural warn for that? 273s

Absolutely none, but that was the teaching. 276s

Rabbi's taught someone dies, spirit hovers for three days, and if the person's resuscitated, 278s

then the spirit can re-enter into the body. 285s

But the rabbis said, but the fourth day, the fourth day, that would not be possible. 288s

Notice the detail here, at the Holy Spirit, guys is the gospel writer John to record. 297s

That Lazarus had been in the tomb a many days, four days. 302s

Now why is that important? 307s

That takes off the table here. 308s

It takes off the table any kind of understanding of what's about read about to happen. 311s

Because as we read on in this story, Jesus raises Lazarus out of the tomb. 316s

He raises him from the dead. 321s

The fact that he had been in the tomb four days, then takes off the table, any type of interpretation, 323s

by those that may have been listening to the rabbi, that would have said, 330s

well, he just got resuscitated there. 335s

Totally takes it off the table, that the resurrection of Lazarus would have to be a miracle. 340s

We go on in verse 20. 350s

When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went in metham while Martha stayed at home. 354s

Martha said to Jesus, Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 359s

That's not just punishment, that's expression of grief. 370s

Mary says the same exact thing in verse 32. 374s

That if Jesus had been there, then Lazarus wouldn't have died. 378s

Do you hear it? 384s

Disappointment isn't it? 388s

Disappointment. 393s

Scripture is no stranger to revealing people's disappointment with God. 394s

For example, in Psalm 13, Psalm 13 is what's called a classic lament Psalm. 401s

It's the classic form of a lament Psalm. 408s

And here, here the disappointment is David, who's the author of this Psalm, speaks. 410s

How long, oh Lord, will you forget me forever? 418s

How long will you hide your face from me? 422s

How long must I bear pain in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all day long? 425s

How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? 430s

In the beginning verses of Psalm 13, this is just the expression of David's lament of David's disappointment, 435s

and who is he disappointed with? He's disappointed with God. 444s

Psalm 42, I say to God, my rock, why have you forgotten me? 451s

Why must I walk about mournfully because the enemy oppresses me? 457s

As with a deadly wound in my body, my adversaries taught me, while they say to me continually, 461s

where is your God? You hear it? It's disappointment. 468s

And disappointment with who? It's disappointment with God. 472s

Numbers the 11th chapter, the rabble among them had a strong craving. 477s

And these relates also wept again and said, if only we had meat to eat, 482s

we remember the fish we used to eat in Egypt for nothing. 487s

The killcombers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic, 492s

and now our strength is dried up and there's nothing at all, but this mana to look at. 496s

Instead of seeing the mana as the incredible blessing, the beautiful blessing from God that it was, 503s

their taste buds took over and they wanted more variety, 510s

and who were they disappointed with? They were disappointed with God. 514s

How about you? 524s

Are you? 528s

Disappointed? 534s

What's God? 538s

The term is over-realized eschatology. 543s

Now what does that mean? 550s

Eschatology has to do with last things. 553s

So what falls into that category of last things? Well, you've got death, 558s

end of the world, second coming of Jesus, 564s

judgment day, eternity, all of that falls under the category of eschatology, 571s

and what also falls in the area of eschatology is life in heaven. 579s

Over-realized eschatology then is the belief. 588s

That what we can expect and what we will experience in heaven, 594s

we can experience it now this side of heaven. 598s

Revelation 21 chapter. It tells us that in heaven, 603s

there's no more death, there's no more mourning, there's no more crying, there's no more pain. 607s

Always going to be sick in heaven. No one's going to mourn. No one's going to cry. 612s

There's none of that in heaven. 617s

Over-realized eschatology says that what we can know, 619s

what we will experience in heaven, we can have now. 626s

And so those that by into that will say, 632s

then this side of heaven then, that means then, 638s

that everybody should be healed. 643s

There should be no sickness that's over-realized eschatology. 647s

There's no sickness or pain in heaven, but there's never a promise that there won't be that this side of heaven. 652s

That's where you get into bad teaching. 658s

Bad teaching where preachers will say, 661s

well the reason why you have an experience that then which we can anticipate in heaven, 665s

the reason why you have an experience that is you must not have enough faith. 670s

I hear the burden of that. 675s

It's nothing that scripture here, 678s

and validates the opinion of over-realized eschatology. 680s

But if someone buys into the understanding that we can have, 685s

what we will experience in heaven, this side of heaven, 689s

where there will be no more mourning, there's no more pain, 693s

everybody is healed of everything this side of heaven, 696s

then reality and expectations, 699s

and there's no more mourning. 703s

There's disappointment, 706s

because the expectation runs into the wall of reality, 710s

and one's disappointment. 717s

Have you ever been disappointed with God? 723s

And what's underneath it? 727s

Is an over-realized eschatology? 730s

Or have you ever been disappointed with God? 738s

Isn't the end God didn't do what you expected and did do? 743s

What you hoped for Him to do? 747s

And so you just get disappointment. 751s

You disappointed with Him? 758s

Does God ever get disappointed? 766s

If you're in my Isaiah class, 771s

as we've been walking through chapter by chapter in the book of Isaiah, 773s

does God ever get disappointed? 777s

And there's ample evidence for that, isn't there? 779s

Absolutely. 782s

Why Jesus says recorded in Matthew the 23rd chapter, 784s

Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it. 788s

How often have I desire to gather your children together 794s

as a hand-gatherer brew under her wings, 798s

and you were not willing? 801s

You hear that from Jesus? 804s

It's disappointed. 806s

The Apostle Paul writes an Ephesians of 4th chapter, 808s

and do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God. 811s

What grieves the Holy Spirit of God are sin? 816s

It's the disappointment of God. 821s

But what does God do with regard to His disappointment about us? 827s

What does He do? 835s

Book when he plays, adverse 22 of our text. 838s

Did even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask of Him? 844s

Martha said, 848s

Jesus said to her, 851s

your brother will rise again. 852s

Martha said to Him, 853s

I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day. 854s

Jesus said to her, 860s

I'm the resurrection of the life. 861s

Those who believe in me, 863s

even though they die will live, 865s

and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. 866s

Do you believe this? 870s

She said to Him, 871s

yes, Lord, 872s

I believe that you were the Messiah, 873s

the Son of God, 875s

the one coming into the world. 877s

What does God do with His disappointment? 882s

He sends His Son to the cross, 888s

to bear all that which disappoints. 894s

All of our sin of thought, 898s

word and deed, 900s

all of that which we should have done, 900s

but we didn't. 902s

All of it, 903s

He bears it on the cross, 904s

and the Lord Jesus Christ, 906s

the resurrection and the life, 908s

sheds His blood for us, 911s

so that God then looks upon us 913s

and sees the perfect righteous garment of His Son. 916s

He looks upon us as the forgiven people we are 921s

through the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ, 928s

the two who was empty, 931s

the sacrifice accepted what does God do with His disappointment? 933s

But He sends His Son to read His. 941s

Look now, plays at verse 3 of chapter 11. 953s

So the sister sent a message to Jesus. 961s

Lord, He whom you love is ill. 964s

But when Jesus heard it, 969s

He said, 971s

this illness does not lead to death. 971s

Now, please catch this phrase. 973s

Rather, it is for God's glory, 975s

so that the Son of God may be glorified through it. 980s

Jesus delayed incoming, 986s

so that Lazarus would die. 991s

So that He could raise Him out of the tomb. 994s

So that God's glory would be put on display. 1001s

Could it be that God has allowed the disappointment 1012s

in your life that God has allowed that? 1018s

So that He might put His glory 1024s

on display. 1030s

And you will learn a new of the magnificence of God. 1034s

As Lazarus died, so that He could then be raised 1044s

from the tomb, so that God's glory could be put on display. 1049s

Could it be the same thing in your life? 1055s

Where God is allowing disappointment 1059s

and He has sovereign overall everything that happens 1064s

past his before his throne. 1067s

He knows the number of hairs on our head. 1068s

He knows when the Sparrow falls. 1070s

The Scripture says, 1072s

could it be that He has allowed this disappointment 1073s

in your life so that He will manifest then His glory? 1076s

And He will understand and see His glory. 1081s

I knew, could it be? 1085s

The Apostle Paul cries out three times, three times, 1091s

and He prays to the Lord that the Thorn in the flesh 1096s

might be removed. 1099s

And God doesn't answer His prayer as Paul at hope. 1102s

And the answer to Paul's prayer is, 1105s

my grace is sufficient for you because when you are weak, 1108s

then you are strong. 1112s

And what Paul learns in that moment is that true strength comes 1114s

in absolute reliance upon God. 1121s

You see, we are not strong when we pull ourselves up by the bootstraps. 1125s

We are not strong when we put on the big image of Bravado. 1129s

No strength. 1132s

Strength is found in weakness. 1133s

When we are leaning in our weakness upon the God, 1138s

who is omnipotent in our nation, 1142s

when we lean upon Him, 1146s

that's when we are strong and that's what Paul, 1149s

that's what He learned, 1155s

and that's what He lived. 1157s

And the living out of that by the grace of God brought glory 1160s

to God, could it be? 1164s

That God is allowing you to experience a disappointment 1169s

so that you too will learn that lesson, 1178s

and learn of the new. 1184s

Because when we learn that lesson, 1189s

when we learn that lesson over and over and over, 1192s

again, when we learn that when we are weak, 1198s

we're strong. 1204s

I'm at all of the pain and disappointment and the heartache. 1209s

That's a gift. 1216s

It's a gift. 1220s

Paul writes in Romans the 8th chapter, 1226s

he says, 1229s

we know that all things work together for good 1229s

for those who love God who were called according to his purpose. 1234s

We'll all things work together for good. 1239s

Do you know in the Greek what the meaning of all there means? 1245s

It means all things work together for good 1248s

for those who love God who were called according to his purpose. 1256s

Could it be that amidst the disappointment you are experiencing now, 1260s

God simply hasn't yet brought about the good. 1269s

Could it be? 1276s

Or is one author puts it that God has yet to redeem the disappointment? 1278s

His word yet could it be? 1287s

God has yet to bring about the good from the disappointment? 1292s

For God says to us, 1302s

I am the resurrection in the life. 1305s

I'm still in charge, he says. 1310s

And I'm still in charge of even that disappointment. 1316s

And what he can do. 1324s

He disappointed you in God. 1331s

Disappointed? 1336s

Trust him. 1343s

Trust him. 1349s

Yes. 1352s