Alone: "Fear of Being Alone" 2-9-25
Overview
Fear of Being Alone
Scripture is honest about the experience of aloneness. Noah preached for 120 years without a convert. Hagar and Ishmael were cast into the desert. David cried out, "There is no one who takes notice of me… no one cares for me" Psalm 142:4. Paul wrote, "At my first defense no one came to my support, but all deserted me" 2 Timothy 4:16. The fear of being alone takes many shapes—the empty house after a funeral, the parent in a quiet nursing home, the believer standing for truth against the tide, the child wondering who will sit with them at lunch.
To this fear, Psalm 139 speaks a steadying word. David moves from God's all-knowing nature to His all-present nature: "Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?" Psalm 139:7. Heaven, Sheol, the farthest sea—nowhere is outside God's reach. We do not need to fear being alone, because we are never alone. This same promise echoes throughout Scripture: "Fear not, for I am with you" Isaiah 41:10; "I will never leave you nor forsake you" Hebrews 13:5; "I am with you always, to the end of the age" Matthew 28:20. Because God knows us completely—every thought, every hidden sin—His abiding presence could be terrifying. But in grace He sent His Son, who bore our sin on the cross, so that His nearness comes to us as good news, not terror.
Yet being never alone does not mean we will never feel lonely. David, who knew God's presence intimately, still prayed, "Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted" Psalm 25:16. The widow, the child, the faithful witness—all may feel the ache of loneliness even while resting in God's presence. The promise is not that loneliness vanishes in this life, but that the One who is always with us comforts us in it, until the day we experience the fullness of Hebrews 13:5 in the glory of heaven.
Until then, God calls us to be instruments of His divine presence to others. Look for the one who stands alone—in the neighborhood, in the lunchroom, after church on Sunday. A simple "welcome" can carry the nearness of Christ to a heart that needs it. "Where can I go from your Spirit?… Your right hand shall hold me fast" Psalm 139:7, 10. Fear not.
Transcript
Would you open your Bible's please with me to Psalm 139? 3s
Psalm 139, if you're using a Pew edition of Holy Scripture, you're going to find that in 8s
the Old Testament on page 540, Psalm 139. 13s
It was early in the morning. 23s
And the Scripture tells us that Jesus got up and he went to a deserted place, a lonely 26s
place, and there he prayed. 34s
Matthew 14th chapter tells us that Jesus got into a boat he withdrew and he went to a 40s
solitary place. 50s
Mark 7th chapter tells us that Jesus went into a house and he didn't want anyone to know 54s
that he had done that. 64s
We see in the pages of Holy Scripture, we see the public ministry of the Lord Jesus Christ. 67s
We see him sometimes ministering to thousands of people. 76s
And we also see times when Jesus intentionally went away to be alone. 82s
The public ministry yes, but also those intentional times, the intentional time 95s
to be alone, where he chooses that. 103s
What about the times when he don't want to be alone? 111s
See, it's the opposite of that, that I want to deal with today. 115s
What about the times that you don't want to be alone? 118s
Well, let's make it even more specific. 124s
What about the times when you fear being alone? 127s
What about the fear of being alone? 136s
Scripture gives us many an example of people experiencing 143s
aloneness, I think for example of Noah, 149s
Noah preached for 120 years and didn't have one convert. 153s
That's aloneness, isn't it? 164s
There's a story of heygar, heygar, and her son Ishmael, and they are 169s
because of a domestic dispute they are alone in the desert. 175s
There's David who writes in Psalm 142, he says, 183s
look on my right hand and see, there is no one who takes notice of me. 188s
No refuge remains to me. 196s
No one cares for me. You're the threefold emphasis of that. 201s
There's no one who takes notice of me. No refuge remains to me. 207s
No one cares for me. That's being alone, isn't it? 213s
Or I'm a pole. 220s
Pole writes in 2 Timothy 4th chapter, he says, at my first defense, 222s
no one came to my support, but all deserted me. 228s
It's at emphasis here. No one came to the support and to make sure that there's 238s
understanding all deserted me. That's being alone. Scripture gives example after 244s
example of a feeling alone. That feeling of being alone, that can manifest itself in so many ways. 255s
Can't it? It's the person in the doctor waiting room filling out the form and coming to the 266s
question, who should I contact if somebody needs to be reached? And the person looks at that and says, 277s
I want to put there. I want to put there alone. 292s
It's the person who assign the divorce papers and comes back to the house. 302s
And the only noise that's heard as the door is opened is the is the beeping of the alarm. And once that 311s
is turned off, it is just so very quiet in the house. And they feel alone. 319s
It's the person returning from the funeral of their husband or their wife. 338s
Indeed, there was beautiful support. And there was the community coming around them. There was 345s
words of consolation, born of Scripture. But then they go back into the house. 352s
And there's no one next to them in the bed. And it's quiet. 363s
And they start to project here going forward. And they feel so alone. 371s
It's the woman that is raised children. And they've all now, they've flown the 382s
coop. That's literally you raise them so that they fly. And they have flown the coop. And they all 388s
have their lives and they're busy and she understands. But but she looks out the window, 394s
each and every day of that nursing home. Because no one ever seems to come. And she feels, 402s
it's the person standing for that which is right against the tide that seems to be going the other way. 414s
It's the the standing for the right. And they witness this appeasement all around them. 425s
Because appeasement is so much easier. It's so much easier just to go with the tide. But they're 434s
trying to stand there and hold for for truth. And as they do it, they feel so alone. 439s
It's the child. The first day of school, it's a new school. They walk into the school. And they 457s
don't know a soul in this school. Nobody knows them. They don't know anybody. And they they look 466s
up at the clock and they watch it get closer and closer to the lunch hour. And what they wonder is, 474s
I wonder who's going to sit with me? I wonder who's going to sit with me? Or am I just going to be 486s
alone? Because they know that the chatter and all the busyness of the lunchroom and what they 494s
what they see in their mind is themselves sitting there alone. You see those feelings of being 502s
alone, it can manifest itself in so many ways. Can't it? And associated with the feeling of 509s
being alone can be the fear of being alone. Psalm 139 addresses it. So so very beautifully. 518s
It's at Psalm of David. And in the first part of the Psalm, it's talking about the 532s
the omniscience of God, the all-knowing nature of God. And David lifts up the fact that God knows 538s
us better than we know ourselves. And he knows us every every action. He knows every every thought. 545s
He knows before a word is on our tongue. He knows it completely. He knows that when we stand up 555s
and when we sit down. David comes with this beautiful expressions of the all-knowing nature of God. 561s
And then he shifts into the presence of God. Look with me, please, at verse 7 of Psalm 139. 571s
Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence? And then the extent 583s
the expense of it. If I ascend a heaven you are there, if I make my bed and shield you are there, 590s
if I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea, even there, 599s
your hand shall lead me. There is nowhere that David could go, that he would be out of the presence 609s
of God. nowhere. Here's the point. We do not need to fear being alone 623s
because we are never alone. We don't need to fear being alone because we are never 638s
alone. Why that truth just reverberates in Holy Scripture. In Matthew the 28th chapter, 651s
the great commission of our Lord Jesus says, go therefore and make disciples of all nations, 662s
baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. How is that 671s
disciple made? Through baptism. And teaching them to obey everything that I've commanded you. 676s
There's the call. It's really quite simple in how it is put. Go baptize, teach, 683s
go and proclaim. And then the promise, we see in Scripture, that fuels that which we are called to do. 693s
And remember, I am with you always to the end of the age. That's that presence of God. 703s
That is His always being with us. That is a word of comfort, isn't it? That is a word of 714s
empowerment as we go to fulfill the great commission that God is with us as we do that. But now 720s
is always with us that means that He knows every thought. He knows every word. 732s
He knows everything that we do. He knows the intentions of the heart. 745s
He knows what we try to cover up so that other people don't see the uncleeness of our sin. 756s
He knows the action and the inaction and would it not make logical sense because God knows 767s
us better than we know ourselves, wouldn't make logical sense for God to say, 774s
that's it. I'm done. I'm fed up. I'm out of here. Forget it. What does He do? 780s
In His grace and His mercy, He sends the sun, the Lord Jesus Christ, and Jesus bears all of that 791s
on the cross, winning for us through His blood for goodness, opening up the gates of heaven 799s
because we're clothed in the waters of baptism and the righteousness of Christ instead of abandoning 807s
us, which should make sense to our minds. He comes to us with His word of grace and forgiveness, 814s
one through Jesus Christ. That's why we can hear the promise that He has always with us. We can 826s
hear that as good news and not a word of terror that He is with us indeed the very one who has 833s
redeemed us and called us His own in the waters of baptism. Scripture reverberates with this. 842s
Isaiah 41, God says, Do not fear for I am with you. Do not be afraid for I am your God. 850s
Yes, always He rules the 13th chapter. Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with 862s
what you have. For He has said, I will never leave you or forsake you so we can say with confidence. 873s
The Lord is my helper. I will not be afraid. Yes, always. John the 14th chapter. Jesus speaking 882s
of the Holy Spirit says, You know Him because He abides with you and He will be in you. 893s
There is no need to fear being alone because you will never be alone. 903s
But does that mean that you will never be lonely? Does it mean you'll never be lonely? 921s
No. No. 939s
Some 25 David writes this. He says, The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear Him. 946s
Fear here is not being afraid. Fear is reverence and all. The friendship of the Lord is for those who 956s
fear Him and He makes His covenant known to them. David says, My eyes are ever toward the Lord 962s
and catch this image here. For He will pluck my feet out of the net. Isn't that gorgeous? 971s
But then listen to what He says. Speaking to God, He says, Turn to me and be gracious to me. 980s
Not now here this. For I am lonely and afflicted. A lonely. 988s
This is not someone who doesn't know God. This is not someone who doesn't know 1004s
of the presence of God with Him. David knows full well of that. He's calling out to the Lord 1008s
who He knows is with Him. Who He knows of the presence of in His life. And yet He writes that He is 1017s
He's lonely. He knows that God is always with Him and yet He also acknowledges 1029s
His loneliness. 1039s
You see, that's an understanding for the widow who understands that God is always with Him or 1045s
her, but also feels lonely because she has the ache for her spouse or his spouse here. That is 1053s
passed away. That is the word for the one who is standing for truth amidst the tide that is going 1062s
the other way. Who knows of the presence of God but also knows that in so doing they feel very 1069s
lonely. That is a word you see for the child in the lunchroom who the last thing that the parent said 1077s
before he went out the door was God will be with you who knows what the parent said but also 1085s
knows of the feelings of being lonely. God is always present with us. We do not need to fear 1096s
being alone. But that doesn't mean that we won't feel lonely. 1111s
It does mean that amidst the feelings of loneliness the one who is always with us. 1124s
Does not leave us to that alone. It means that the one who is always with us is there to comfort us. 1135s
It means that we will never be without his presence amidst the times 1145s
when we feel lonely. 1161s
Until the day when we experience the reality of Hebrews 13 in his fullness. 1168s
That promise that he will never leave us nor forsake us until the day when we experience that promise 1178s
in all of its heavenly glory. When we bow before him in the glory of heaven itself and we know 1184s
that this is one more day in all of eternity in the very presence of God and we experience 1194s
the reality of the promise that he will never leave us nor forsake us in all of its heavenly glory 1202s
and it's heavenly beauty until that day God gives us the privilege and calls us to be 1209s
instruments of his divine presence to be instruments of his divine presence. 1218s
I think of my wife, my wife's grandmother Ruby, who now experiences that reality 1229s
of living in the fullness of the promise of Hebrews 13 in the beauty of heaven. I think of Ruby. 1238s
Ruby was a wonderful loving person. I remember the first time that I met her and I said so nice to 1249s
Mrs. Nelson and she and she cocked her head back and she looked at me and she said, 1258s
I bet it's quite a thrill for you. And I knew at that moment that all the rules were off 1266s
and Ruby just just embraced and Ruby loved. Ruby had a gift I saw it over and over and over again. 1276s
Ruby looked for the one who was standing alone. Ruby looked for the one that was new. 1287s
And in her later years as she moved into the nursing home what she would do is every other new 1301s
resident that would come in. It was Ruby that was one of the first people that they would meet and 1307s
she would say, Welcome. Welcome. And as the time came closer to when the Lord was going to transfer 1314s
her into the glory of heaven itself and Ruby's mind was not the mind that we had known earlier with regard to Ruby. 1327s
What she never lost was that recognizing of the one who was the stranger, the recognizing of the one 1338s
who stood alone, the recognizing of that one. And people that were new would walk by her room 1351s
and she would know that they were new and she would say, Welcome. Welcome. 1362s
Because Ruby's ministry until the day said, the Lord said, now is time to come home, Ruby. 1376s
That ministry was one where she understood that she was an instrument of the divine 1384s
presence of God. We don't need to fear being alone because we're never alone. 1396s
The one who is with us always, the one who is with us always is also with us amidst the times 1414s
where we feel lonely to comfort us. And the one who is with us always even amidst the times of our loneliness 1426s
and powers us to be instruments of His divine presence. 1443s
Who stands alone in your neighborhood? 1462s
Who will stand alone after church today? 1471s
Look for the one who stands alone. 1481s
There's your calling. 1490s
Where can I go from your spirit? 1498s
Verse 10, Your right hand shall hold me fast. 1502s
Fear not. 1515s