Speech: "Tact" 6-29-25
Overview
The Gift of Tactful Speech
"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer" Psalm 19:14. That ancient prayer is not just for preachers stepping into the pulpit—it belongs to every Christian who opens their mouth in the course of a day. Words matter. They can be tacky, or they can be tactful. Tact communicates wisdom, self-control, love, and respect for the person we are addressing. It is rooted in the carefully considered, carefully chosen word.
Solomon teaches us this directly in Proverbs 16:21-24: "The wise of heart is called perceptive, and pleasant speech increases persuasiveness... The mind of the wise makes their speech judicious and adds persuasiveness to their lips. Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body." Tactful speech wins us a hearing; it opens the door for influence. Scripture gives us many examples: Abigail's tactful intervention with David 1 Samuel 25; Joseph's gentle revelation to the brothers who had betrayed him Genesis 45; Nathan's parable that pierced David's conscience 2 Samuel 12; Paul before the philosophers in Athens, beginning not with insult but with respect: "I see that you are very religious" Acts 17:22-23; and Daniel, whose words to the king were prudent and discerning.
Paul gathers all of this into a single instruction: "Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer everyone" Colossians 4:6. And in Ephesians 4:15 he urges us to speak the truth—but in love. Say what you mean, mean what you say, and never be mean when you say it. The temptations are familiar: to blast the other person, to declare "I'm just going to be blunt," to let words tumble out unfiltered. But as James warns, the tongue is "a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God... My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so" James 3:8-10.
The struggle with our speech is rooted in our sinfulness, and we will fall short. Yet the gentle Savior who shed His blood on the cross speaks the decisive word over us: "I forgive you. You are mine." That word is given to us again and again at the table, in the body and blood of Christ, "for you, for the forgiveness of sins." The God who exhorts gracious speech is the God who empowers it. In a day when the opposite of tact is being normalized—even among Christians, where it weakens our witness—may we be more winsome with our words. May the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts be acceptable in His sight, our Rock and our Redeemer.
Transcript
Would you open your Bibles please with me to Proverbs 16th chapter, Proverbs 16, if you're using a 3s
Pue edition of Holy Scripture, you'll find in the rack in front of you or underneath you, 11s
you'll find the 16th chapter of Proverbs on page 561 in the Old Testament, page 561. 16s
He would say it every single Sunday morning. My pastor, when I was growing up, 26s
before he would begin his sermon, he would say this. 38s
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, 43s
O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer. Every single Sunday. 50s
That's a beautiful, beautiful prayer. Is it not? It's a beautiful prayer rooted in Scripture. It's 62s
a prayer asking that what he's about ready to preach will be acceptable to the Lord, that it will 70s
bring glory to the Lord, that he will be a representative of Christ that would bring praise unto God. 75s
But that prayer before the beginning of each of his sermons, that prayer is not just a prayer before 89s
one preachers. Why it's a prayer for all of us at all times when it comes 97s
to our words, isn't it? That our words will be acceptable unto God, that they will bring 104s
him glory and praise. Words. We say a lot of words in the course of a day, don't we? And words are 114s
so, so important. Let me ask you this. What would you rather hear? Would you rather hear someone say, 124s
oh, we're not going to eat that, are we? I can't stand that. Or would you rather hear someone say, 138s
I'm sorry, but I've yet to acquire a taste for that yet. What was your rather hear in the 149s
shoe store? Would you rather hear the representative say, that shoe is not going to fit on that big 158s
poet? Or would you rather hear them say, you know, when I see you, I think of this particular style, 166s
may I go and get that for you? But would you rather hear? Would you rather hear someone that says, 181s
that has to be the dumbest idea? I have ever heard in my entire life, or would you rather hear 190s
someone say, for me, I have a different perspective on that. Words, words are so important. And 204s
some words can be tacky and some words can be tack full, right? Tacked, tacked, tacked, 216s
tacked communicates wisdom, tack communicates self control, tack communicates love and 230s
respect for the person that you're talking to. Tacked is rooted in the carefully considered 242s
and chosen word. Tacked, tacked. Why the Bible gives us a whole step examples of 251s
act in Holy Scripture? I think for example of Abigail. Abigail, Scripture tells us, was married to a fellow 266s
by the name of Nabol. Nabol insulted David and David didn't like it. And so David had decided that 273s
he was going to even up the score. But Abigail stepped in and with with tackedfulness, tackedfulness, 282s
addressed David and David changed his mind. Bible tells us that the story of Joseph, 292s
his father gave him a fancy coat, a lot of colors. Look really quite nice. His brothers, they couldn't 302s
stand that. And one thing led to another and the brothers threw him into a pit and then 308s
sold him into slavery. Well, one thing leads to another. And in Egypt, Joseph has a very, 315s
very powerful and prestigious position. And in the famine, his brothers come looking for food. 327s
The brothers don't recognize that it's Joseph. Joseph recognizes his brothers. And after a bit 336s
when he addresses his brothers and reveals who he is, he speaks with such 344s
techfulness, self-control, respect, love. Bible tells the story about the prophet Nathan. 352s
God gave Nathan a parable to share with King David. You see King David, the Bible tells us 365s
committed adultery with Bashiva and then arranged for the murder of Bashiva's husband on the 370s
battlefield. It's all just this big cover up. And God calls forth Nathan and gives him this parable 378s
to share. And with with with tackfulness, Nathan shares that parable and David is just filled with 386s
finger over the actions of the main character in the parable. And then Nathan turns and says, 395s
you're the man. You're the man. You see it was all using the parable that God had given to Nathan 406s
and Nathan speaking with with techfulness, techfulness. 417s
A Bible tells us when Paul was in Athens, they used to say about Athens that there were 426s
more idols than there were people that lived in Athens. And in the 17th chapter of Acts, Paul 434s
is noticing here all of these objects of worship. But yet there's an altar and it says to the 441s
unknown God, and Paul takes that opportunity and with with love and respect. Bible says that 449s
that he turned to them and said, I see that you were a very religious people. And then he started to tell 459s
about the one and only God, with respect, love, self-control wisdom. When more Daniel, 466s
Daniel wants the audience with the king and the Bible says that his words were prudent and they 477s
look on it, please, ever as 21 of our text. The wise of heart is called perceptive and 497s
pleasant speech increases persuasiveness. Wisdom is a fountain of life to one who has it, but 505s
fully is the punishment of fools. The mind of the wise makes their speech judicious and adds persuasiveness 513s
to their lips. Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health 523s
to the body. Those are the descriptors here of of tactful speech. Verse 21, second part of that verse, 533s
Pleasant speech increases persuasiveness. You see, you see tactful speech. It wins for you the 544s
opportunity to be an influence in the other person's life and wisdom opens the door. 555s
And the knowledge and the gift comes through. Why? The scriptures tell us in verse 23 that the 565s
mind of the wise makes their speech judicious and there it is again and adds persuasiveness to their 574s
lips. Judicious speech, crafted speech, carefully chosen words. Words that just don't 582s
don't tumble out of the mouth, words that reflect self-control judicious. Notice the lovely 591s
image in verse 24. Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. 600s
Like a honeycomb, sweet words that are health to the body because they serve the well-being 609s
of the other. Proverbs chapter 25 says, a word that the spoken is like apples of gold in a setting 621s
of silver. You see it? Jesus said, you are the salt of the earth. But if salt is lost, 636s
it's taste, how can it's saltiness be restored? Salt is the preservative here. Salt is that which 648s
which enhances and then Paul takes that very word and applies it to speech when he writes in 656s
Alotians the fourth chapter. He says, let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, 664s
so that you may know how you ought to answer everyone. You see, the gracious speech is not salt-free. 674s
No, the gracious speech, the tactful speech, why it acts as a preservative, it enhances self-control 684s
love, respect, the tactful speech. I like the affirmism that says, say what you mean, mean what you say 701s
and never be mean when you say it. Say what you mean mean what you say 720s
and never be mean when you say it. That affirmism that that flirts doesn't it with Ephesians the fourth 730s
chapter when Paul, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, when Paul writes, 741s
speak the truth, but then what's the very next thing he says, in love. 748s
Speak the truth, but do it in love. See, we can speak the truth that it acts like a hammer that 759s
brushes the person's ability to hear as we just smash them with the truth. 770s
But speak the truth in love. Say what you mean mean what you say, 779s
and never be mean when you say it. What's the temptation here, right? What's the temptation 790s
that surrounds being tactful? What's the temptation? We can be tempted to put the other person on 802s
last, right? Just let him have it. And maybe maybe for a moment that that gives rise to some 813s
level of satisfaction like, well, I told them. But what happens? What happens? 825s
Well, we could be tempted with regard to our speech to just come to those points when we say, 837s
okay, I'm just going to say it. I'm just going to say it. You know, if we verbalize that or if we think 848s
we probably shouldn't say it, right? Or what's the temptation? We can we can be tempted to just say, 856s
look, I'm going to be blunt. I'm going to be blunt about this. But a blunt word can be so 866s
very, very sharp. What, what's the struggle with all of this? What, what's it rooted in? James tells 876s
us, James writes in the third chapter. He says, for every species of beast and bird of reptile 891s
and sea creature can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species. But no one can tame the tongue. 900s
A restless evil full of deadly poison with it. We bless the Lord and Father and with it we curse those 912s
who are made in the likeness of God from the same mouth. Come, blessings and cursing. My brothers 922s
and sisters, this ought not to be so. The tongue described as a restless evil full of 930s
deadly poison. Other than the same mouth we can bless and we can curse the other at the same time. 940s
You see the struggle around being, being tactful. The struggle around it is the reality of our 950s
sinfulness that like tentacles it just reaches into to grab and to twist our language and the 962s
struggle that we can have. It's rooted, rooted in our sinfulness, in our sinfulness. 973s
And yet amidst the struggle amidst our falling short amidst all of the opposite of the 990s
world. Forgive. A word that he won by shedding his own blood on the cross. 1016s
That word to us amidst our struggle amidst our continually falling short 1031s
and the gentle Savior says, here's my word for you. I forgive you. I forgive you. 1037s
A midst our struggle and entanglement with sin. What is the word that we hear? 1054s
It is the word that was said to Bradley this morning. It is the word where God says, 1062s
your mind, your mind. You are my child. No ifns or butts about it. My. 1070s
Amits are our struggle with this amidst our sin. What is the word that we hear? 1083s
But it is the word for you that we hear at the table. When we receive the very body and blood 1091s
of our Lord given with bread and wine for the forgiveness of sins and we continue to hear, 1101s
week after week after week for you for you. It's this word of forgiveness, this word of God's 1107s
grace. It's a glorious word. It's a it's a freeing word. It's a beginning a new word and he says it again 1123s
and again and again and again. First 21 of our text, pleasant speech increases persuasiveness. 1135s
Verse 23, the mind of the wise makes their speech judicious and adds persuasiveness to their lips. 1155s
But beloved, we live in a day. We live in a day where the opposite of textfulness is put on display. 1171s
Every single day from a host of different quarters. 1182s
Beloved, we live in a day in which the opposite of textfulness is becoming normalized. 1194s
We're more and more people are just believing. I guess this is just how we talk with each other now. 1207s
Day after day, we keep hearing the opposite of text. 1218s
And even among Christians, even among Christians. 1230s
When Christians speak with the opposite of textfulness that effects the witness. It affects 1247s
the witness. When Christians speak with the opposite of textfulness that has an effect. 1261s
I'm just going to say it. I'm just going to say it. When Christians speak with the opposite of textfulness, 1272s
I'm just going to be blunt. When Christians speak with the opposite of textfulness, 1289s
I'm just going to be blunt. 1301s
Perhaps I should put it this way. Could we be more whinsom in the world? 1312s
With our words, could we be more whinsom in the world? 1326s
With our words. The one who speaks, the word of grace is the one who empowers. 1337s
If God exhorts it, he will empower it. Because pleasant words are like a honeycomb, 1349s
sweetness to the soul and health to the body. 1370s
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, 1383s
all Lord, my rock, and my Redeemer. 1391s